I've never conqured rarely came, yesteryear just held such better days.

2 weeks is all that's left of what is gonna be the end of my second year in uni life. Well, when you're in uni, your year is acording to academic year, not the greek calander year, lolz.

Anyway, sometimes when i reminisces about the past years, i cant help but to feel that those were the better years of my life here in uni, and as times pass, i never gets any better. Yeah, my first year was the most enjoyable one. back then, it was almost absolutely care free. And god knows how, I still manage to get some decent grades although i hardly study. try that stunt now and i'll be writing an appeal to our immortal uni president.

One of the best stuff was the drama presentation. yes, back then when we got the assignment, it was as if we're ask to build a space craft. I for one, was so damn lack of confidence, and to think of all the work we need to put in just turns me off. But now when i look back then, i'd rather be doing such thing again then to be here in my room studying some ridiculous theorem and formulars that I wish never existed.

Year two, thet's when the going gets tough...but the tough never gets going. It started as a sweet stroll down the beach, lots of nice memories but little did i know that some thing are too good to last.....it slowly turn to hell as time passes, and by the end of the year, everything seems completely screwed up. and i am suffering the consequence of it. and then came the ineviteble thoughts of how'd things be had i study much harder, had i not act like a jerk and had i been more lucky. perhaps i wouldn't be counting days till the break is over. perhaps i wouldn't be so miserable right now.

Sometimes, it's not just about preventing things to happend or do what should have been done. There are many things that are out of my control that even if given a chance to right those wrongs, i can't change anything anyway. But then, there's another thing that i can do, that is to try and accept things differently. I ain't good to change things, but i can accept it or take it in a different way, in a way that could possibly eliminate all the negetive consequence of it.

But now, it's all so yesterday, and i can't change what i'm going through. the only thing that i can do is to change what i'm about to face...


I never conquered, rarely came
16 just held such better days
Days when I still felt alive
We couldn't wait to get outside
The world was wide, too late to try
The tour was over we'd survived
I couldn't wait till I got home
To pass the time in my room alone
-Blink 182

X360 at work

Below here are some screenshot of actual in-game evironment, or in other words, real time rendering. It's being run on the latest console, xBox 360. The application is Test Drive Unlimited, an upcoming auto racing simulator for the xBox 360.

Note that these picture are 3D rendered picture, they are NOT real life pciture.


As it should be in real life, the sun glare is very painful to the eye, literally. Overburning effect is being use to make such effect.


Note the reflection off the car surface. This kind of effect utilizes programmable shading technique, which menas a load of processing power is consumed


Another realistic picture of a car


Everything is so detailed, even the background looks as real as it should

These are some of the capabalities of these new gen console. Although traditionally it takes developers about 2 years to be able to utilize a console, it does seems to me that this game had somehow take a large chunk of it's processing capabilities, if not all, to render such images. It's hard to imagine if it's capable of anything more than that. Duh.

Another hardware to the list

These days, on a typical home PC, the two main component that decide how fast Gordon Freeman can turn around and blast off and charging alien before being hit in the ass, or in a more simple and less dramatic term, the speed of a 3D game, are the CPU, GPU( graphic card ) and to some extend, the RAM. But one of the main cash sucker is the CPU and GPU. And of course, they provide the processing power mordern games need. But as if these two hardware are not enough to make me loose my hair and burn a large hole in my wallet, comes another new hardware, called Physics Processing Unit PPU.

Before you go ZOMFG, what has physic to do with a computer, well, this is a technology that has been implimented into games since the day mario call it a day and 3D games took over. Physics processing determines how a man head burst when being shot at, how the blood spills on the wall and how his body rolls down the stairs. It helps bounce a car off your opponent car when u hit him, how water flows, how a person hair moves as she moves her head around as if he's on drug, and many other more possibilities.

All along, this physics calculation are being done by the CPU, but there's a problem. CPU has to handle other calculation too, such as the Artificial Inteligence AI, and many other things. So, taking off the physics load from the CPU frees up lots of precessing power for it to do other stuff, such as more complex AI calcultion, while the PPU handles mre complex physics. This will result in much more realistic games in the future.

Here's a picture of the prototype:


Alright, geek stuff aside.

Microsoft has just unveil the next gen console, the xBox 360, which will be available this summer break, while Sony too has shown its Play Station 3 console, due early next year. Kinda exciting, as xBox will have it's one and only worth game, Halo series, while will have it's 3rd installement with this xBox. And for PS3, Gran Tusrismo 5 have been annouce, and more games are expected to be annouce. One can always expect those immortal titles such as Mortal Kombat, Resident Evil and Silent Hill series. Expect Resident Evil heroin looks more sexier than ever, and more macho fatalities from Sub Zero as this new console pack a lightyears more processing power than any PC available in today markets.

So, where does it leave geeks like me who still stick to a PC and will never touch one of those consoles? Well, certainly PC processing power won't be lagging behind for too long. That's where stuff like PPU, mutli-core CPU, and extream powerful GPU comes in.

But heck, it looks like i have to sell a kidney or two if i were to buy those hardware to run Half Life 3 or DOOM 4.

J-Rock

Well, seriousy, I've never been into any songs from other language besids english. reason simply being that I can't understand those language, and so listening to those stuff might be somehow awkward.

But anyway, back in the 90' (it was towards the end of 90' actually) i once saw this group on tv. they were called Glay, a 4 member J-Rock band. it was their video clip, and I find that I kinda enjoy listening to their songs although I do not understand a single word of their lyrics. heh. It was just nice to listent too, especially their slow rock ballad, though I can remember any of the song simply because I don't know it's title =P

Debuted a around 94', they were quick to became famous in the japan, and was known as the biggest rock band in japan at that time. There was an article on them in the local papers. but soon after, I've never heard much of them.

Anyway, yesterday i've just tried out a new-to-me P2P program called Ares. A very good P2P program to download audio media stuff, and well, i manage to find lots of Glay's song, and heck I've downloaded a bunch of it and now, i find mself enjoying songs that I don't understand what''s being sing out loud.

Truth contradiction

Well, lately I've got nothing much usefull to post up here. Anyway, I'll just post a tought of mine, might just keep this short.

Sometimes when we learn a truth, it's sometimes very hurtful. This are, well, the hurtful truth, duh. But well, from what I have known, when a person learn this kind of truth, he will be very disappointed and sad, but at the same time, somewhat relief. I myself am not sure why it's so, but i guess after such a long time of wondering and guessing, maybe this will stop all of this, and helps a person to take the next step without worrying about the consequence, without fearing of loosing something.

So, all i wanna say is that if u ever have a chance to find out a truth, don't be afraid to face it, although u know it's not a one. Just go for it and u'll be glad that u knew it earlier than later or never. U may also put an end to all the question that u have in u'r mind all this while.

Living in a lie and trying to make believe ain't funny at all.

What are you guys lookin' for?

Recently there was a thread started in the forum lowyat.net
This thread was intended for all users to post stuff such as what criteria they will look for when find their soul mate, or let’s just say significant other. And of course it got lot’s of replies from many members, and I’ve decided to pick a few interesting replies, leaving out those usual serious replies.

The thread topic was “What kind of guy or girl are you looking for…..”
Here’s the question in the thread:
There are many, many types of people in this world, what type of girl or guy you are looking for to become your gf/bf?
For me, I'm always looking for the most suitable but not the best one.....
How about you?

Here are some interesting post to this thread:
(Note that I decided not to change any grammar or spelling mistake, else it’ll all sounds boring. Let’s just leave it the way it’s meant to be =) )

I look for whether I have feeling for her or not...
I don’t believe love require a reason
-Guest18

1) cute cute look 2) still virgin 3)know how to read Chinese 4)can cook
still exist or not this type of gal?? if got faster pm me
-bioweapon83

feminine... fair.. not rude (i hate rude gurls).... virgin is preferable.. coz I’m a virgin as well… Ain’t hope to let my dream gurl teach me how to perform on bed
-tuRtL3

What kind of girl do I look for? Ok, lets see:
- Kind
- Beautiful
- Caring
- Understanding
- NON-PMS temper
- Intelligent
- Faithful
- Rich
- list goes on...
Too bad such person don’t exist... So why bother to ask topics like this? Everyone would want to have a 'perfect' bf/gf... but perfect people don’t exist.
-pennywise

I don't really know what type of girl i searching for.. as long as i like or have feeling lo……but i know there is one important requirement…. she have to be a real female
-tatuto

I'm looking for a girl with an ON/OFF switch. Just like a computer. Switch it on when i need it, switch it off when i don't.
-ikanayam
Replies:
Yaya….dream on – gnel2000
I do. Everyday – ikanayam

u noe most of de guys as wat we call gangster treat their gf/loupoh better than guai guai jai type ? cos they r mature enuf to understanding gals.. they noe wat their gals need! *p/s: if him reli luv u la!
-hellangle
Reply:
But possibility that their husband ending up in coffin or jail – wangpr

1)Nice Butt 2)understanding 3)non-smoking 4)can cook 5)sweet face 6)virgin.. nice to have..
-CashewsNut

one condition
we both love each other
-meteoric_beam
Replies:
yaya agree!! now say wan this wan that ..when u reli fall in luv G-par also bin lui shen edi .. – hellangle
I swear to my ancestor that, if I married a G-par, I will strike by 5 tiles lightning. Oni if, I succesfully turn the G-par become a Lui Shen. -7chai
yeap unblievable some guy do like pork chop.
so i think 90% of the guy is very kind on this.........let them have it ……we go for our pricess charming – CashewsNut
beauty is not eternal one wo....princess charming can become pork chop and so the other way round. No wonder gals today tend to cut down food intake in order to get that slim body la... – adeline
agree, but why not walk extra miles while you still can?.....my gf must be "cun". but my wife might be pork chop lah... – CashewsNut

i looking for a cute gal ...
- preferably chubby
- sweet nice notty sensual , not tooo innocent
- preferbablyyy .. know KICKBOXING, JUDO, etc ... so she can whack me
anyway ... wat is dream for hardly come true
if got please PM me
- PrinceHamsap

condition?
must be active... know martial arts, jungle tracking, rock climbing, jump from aeroplane, those EXtreme thing .
Must know how to Cook
Must shy and quite in the correct moment...
SM?! thats depend..
-siaokia

Im looking for tough girls who beat the crap out of me. Im too much of a sissy. She's gotta protect me when I got bullied by other girls and maybe some guys too
-Dude Oni Kabuto
Replies:
hey this tread is getting crazy !!! guy actually search protection from girl !! damn !! –meteoric_beam
Muahahaha...... I think u can go find an auntie la.... not bad.... - IcE


a girl that interests herself for:
a) morality
b) politics
c) computers
d) can frag me
e) is tolerant
f) hates school
g) DOES NOT LOVE HIP HOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-dead_man

looking girl that is noisy can argue with me over smallest of little things ,dont care a thing about herself either fat thin messy hair pimples or not and ofcourse better if she know how to fight ^^
-guest18
Replies:
interesting - gnel2000
no sweat finding for the first wan, this guy is realistic......ehehe - hornet
dont care boob dont care size height shape or whatever....it is her furious self that I like ... yummy - guest18

i wan a girl tat can tell me either she like me or jus straight tell me to give up if she dun....not leave some stupid hints or fake hope....i'm not doing charity for girls....haizzz
-sr71
Replies:
raise both hands and feets, couldn't agree more - velentino46

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Well, as one can observe from the above post, and also all the other post at that thread, seems 2 common things that these people wants it
1. A virgin
2. Can cook

This virgin matter was long discuss many times there, and some people insist on it, some insist otherwise. But of course, majority of them insist that it isn’t important. But when comes to threads like this, turns out it’s still in their list after all. Heh. Well, I’d say, good luck hunting. You’ll need it.

Can cook. This must be one thing many guys have been dreaming of, as it’s outrageously everywhere in the thread. But this people forget one thing. CAN cook and WILL cook is two different thing =D.

And just incase if anyone’s wondering what my reply to that thread was, well, I’m saving it for the rainy day.
=D

Cheers.

Why does it feels like it's ranining in my head.....

Well, as a follow up to my previous post on my favourite band Busted, here's a song from their latest album. The best song ( in my own judgement of course) off the album, A Present For Everyone.

Anyway, this album stuff are more mature as compare to their first, self titled album. Most of the songs meanings are more deeper and more serious. Of course there are still songs which reflect their playful nature such as Air Hostess and She Want's To Be Me. But those sad songs are much more serious, such as 3AM, Who's David, Why, Loner In Love and Can't Break Through.

And all of those songs mention are almost equally good, but i choose Can't Break Through as i feel this song well, it's meaning are pretty simple yet strong. And the tune are even better. that of course i can't explain in words here. But here's the lyric.

Title: Can't Break Through
Artist: Busted
Album: A Present For Everyone

I hate when you say
That I Don't blow you away
I can't break through that way
Our Friends told us

We wouldn't last for the week
I guess they think that I'm a freak
They hated my blue streak
I cant control this

Why does it feel like it's raining in my head?
I don't understand
Why are you always complaining about me
You don't even know who I am
Don't think I wanna know you
I'm tired of running after you
I won't send you a sorry card
Cos' I don't need you
I've given up and never reminisce
I found a way of getting over this
I let go in everyway
Cos' I don't need you

I feel that it's time
For me to draw the line
(I know that I'll be fine)
Without your bitchin'
Cos' everyday I become
A little less numb
Like I don't even know you

Why does it feel like it's raining in my head?
I don't understand
Why are you always complaining about me
You don't even know who I am
Don't think I wanna know you
I'm tired of running after you
I won't send you a sorry card
Cos' I don't need you
I've given up and never reminisce
I found a way of getting over this
I let go in everyway
Cos' I don't need you

Don't think I wanna know
I've gotta go before I go crazy
I let go in everyway
Cos' anyway, I know that you hate me


Again, as always, their meanings are pretty straight foward. Some people might be able to relate it to them, while others might just choose to just listent to the song. But either way, it's a simple and nice slow pop rock song.

Anyway, they don't seems to have lots of fan in the america, i only manage to find one good comment about this song.

"i really like Busted. I find that some of their songs(or at least part of some of thier songs) have meanings even if some of you people dont want to admit it. I personally like the line-"WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS COMPLAINING ABOUT ME YOU DONT EVEN KNOW WHO I AM". "
-deceased parrot

I'm feeling this.

Hmm, here I am again, posting at the middle of the night. It's 1am, and my brain ain't working 100% at this time of the day =P
I did wanted to write most of my post at other times where I'm more awareof what I'm writing and can think better, but unfortunetly, that just isn't possible for now. All thanks to the fact that I have 3 exam paper to take in coming months. So, by the time i finish doing my revision and I'm prepare to go online, it'll be like 11pm or 12am. Some games and it's time to sleep at 1am or latest 2am.

Well, that's the burdern of studying. even during the holidays, we still carry our job of studying. Sometimes, when i see my parents both having free time (or at least busy with anything but job's work) during each weekends, it kinda makes me wish i was working too. all works stays behind the office door, at home will be time or other things that's not work related. But then again, many working seniors had said that they wish they're still studying, life's so much better back then. Heh.

Anyway, i guess i don't have a choice, like it or not, i have to finish my degree, that is in 4 years (hopefully). Afterthat, like it or not, I have to go out to work, student's life over, i can't stay any longer in a uni. So, i guess all i can do is to make the most of whatever moment i'm in, and well, enjoy the hell out of it (while keeping the balance with my studies, heh).
now if only i can do it much better.

Alright, time to sleep again. man i'm gonna miss those days when i stis infront my pc the whole day wondering what should i do online. Now i won't have to ask that question again, and i hope i can. Life's complicated, ain't it?

SLEEPING WITH THE LIGHT ON

Title: Sleeping With The Light On
Artist: Busted
Album: Busted (self titled)

Along she came, with her picture.
Put it in a frame, so I won't miss her.
Got on a plane, from London; Heathrow.
It seems such a shame.

I feel her slipping through my fingers.
Now she's gone, I'm sleeping with the light on.
And sharks swim through my veins now, that she's gone.
I'm sleeping with the light on.

Heard she's engaged, but to her best friend.
No ones to blame, here's where it all ends.
And I feel the pain, 'cause I'm without her.
I feel the pain.

I feel her slipping through my fingers.
Now she's gone, I'm sleeping with the light on.
And sharks swim through my veins now, that she's gone.
I'm sleeping with the light on.

I see the sight, with a different light.
Words cannot describe the way I'm feeling.
'Cause I've been searching in my head.
For the words I thought she'd said.
For too long.

I feel her slipping through my fingers.
Now she's gone, I'm sleeping with the light on.
And sharks swim through my veins now, that she's gone.
I'm sleeping with the light on.


P/S:I got too bored, and so decided to post a lyrics here. Lately, I'm kinda addicted to Busted's song, both of their album, first self titled one and the newer ones of the title A Present To Everyone. Though I prefere the later album, but this previous albums have nice songs too. This song, sleeping with the light on, is the best song off this album, for me at least. This is a slow ballad, rock ballad maybe. Anyway they are more to boyband, not puck rock like Blink 182.

About this song, i guess there's nothing much to say, their meaning are pretty simple and apparent. Basically, I'd say it's a emo song, though not as emo as Blink 182's What Went Wrong. But I like this song anyway. It's the best off this album, though not the best of Busted.

Here are some opinions on this song by fans that I've found online:
"when u can feel someone slipping away from you, as if u know they are going and when they have you dont know what to do you are in shock. in my opinion the line 'now shes gone im sleeping with the light on' makes me think that the person is scared of being alone because of the situation their in (that is my opinion sorry if u dont agree)a great busted song, amazing when played live"
-dying star

"i fucking bummed this song it made me cry...then i realised it was by busted but i still love it even though everything about the band repulses me this song is an exception"
-xmindgamesx

As for my opinion, i have nothing much to say, except that I think the phrase "sleeping with the light on" means having a sleepless nights, possibly due to having lots of problems in a person mind, rather that a literal meaning.

Some funny pics

i was bored today, so browsing thru the web for some nice laugh, and found this bunch of pics.
Some are real, some are fake and some are edited, or so called "photoshoped".
Enjoy.


Pwned!


"Ahhhhhhhh.........WTF!!!!!!"


High maintainence cat.


Well, this coming from 'em, you've gotta believe it


Enough said


SWAT serving a high risk arrest warrent.


The croco aparently demanded for a higher quality feeding.


Pervert alert.


I swear that's the last shop on earth I'll walk into.


The downfall of Ronald.


Go ahead and try if you dare.


You go figure.


Yellow chicks.

This is just for fun, no offence meant. I apologize if there's anyone's offended by it.

Now I'm feeling sick, literally.

Arghh.....

I'm having a bad nose day today. Been grounded by a bad flu since this morning and right now, it's still as bad, if not worst. I wonder how much tissues papers I've use today. Man, for the whole day I've been sleeping most of the time, hoping I'll feel better after waking up, but that ain't the case. And by now, i'm feeling a lil' headache, possibly from over sleeping? Worst still, my throat starts to feel like it's gonna give me more trouble.

This doens't look good. From my experience in falling sick, it'll all starts with this flu, sore throat and then followed by a fever (sometimes can be quite bad) and ends with a annoying cough. Well, certainly I hope it won't get any worst. Falling sick is the last thing i need in this 2 months. I hope it'll all get better by tomorrow, though i must admit that the chances are slim.

My throat, it's begining to hurt......

*SIGH*

Right now I'm just feeling, erm, I dunno how to describe. It's just very bad. There's just so many things on my mind right now that I dunno where to start.

Well, let's just say 4 months just went down the drain.

I don't know what went wrong. Though things got quite tough and i did expect some of it, but i had never in the wildest dream expected that it could be so bad. It was so bad that I couldn't believe my eye when I saw it. And the next thing I know, so many questions start to cross my mind. It all came yesterday, but it ain't so yesterday yet. Till now, it's all still on my mind.

Anyway, i just try to tell myself, what's happend is already happend, don't cry over spilled milk. Maybe I need time, but this isn't the end of the world, I still have lot's to achive ahead. And well, i think sometimes I shouldn't try to find a reason to it. It's like I'm giving myself some excuses for the failures that I make. There was so many crazy idea went through my mind, strict markings, higher standard, and all others crap. Well, at the end of the day, I just tried to convince myself that the problems lies within me.

Well, i guess I'll have my hands full this 6 weeks. I just hope it's pass soon, fast, very fast. And better luck next time.