When I make the decision to not further my studies and get a job, I thought it was time for me to grow up, that its time for me to take things in my life forward.

Unfortunately that didn't happened. What happened was I remain jobless, and everything went downhill from there. I never expected things to be like this, it was one of my biggest blunder

I think I fail at logical reasoning, I'm unable to predict consequences. I was afraid that furthering my studies will turn out to be a 20k regret. I guess I'll never know how things would have been had I took that path, instead of this.

I'm like a broken record
I've got a needle scratching me
It injects the poison of alcohol I.V.
I don't blame you for walking away
I'd do the same if I saw me
I shat the bed and laid there in it
Thinking of you wide awake for days

Some people are naturally smart, hardworking, are capable of getting things right, and achieve great accomplishments in their life. I've had the pleasure of meeting such person.

And then there are those who are just born a loser, academically challenged, never able to get anything right, bound for failure no matter how he tries. And such person is me.

I guess that differences begins to matter as we grow older. People starts seeing such losers in a thousand different negative ways.

I miss the time when all of these didn't matters.

I wake up weird
In the middle of the night

I walk the floor
Until my mind gets right

I think about the past
And it makes me want to cry

I know...
I got to keep it on the inside


I wish I didn't have to attend this convocation, just skip everything. There's nothing there to celebrate, no achievement to be proud of. I'm not that much of a social person anyway, the only thing that I ever achieve is sending people running away from me. Besides, I'm still jobless, and have ran out of ideas on what to do.

I want to get lost from my life sometimes

Sit on the side
And watch the world go by

I want to get lost in the dark
And dream for awhile

Just sit inside a dark room
And dream for awhile