If I could see myself the way you do I might change a thing or two...

I know that I'm a socially inept and retarded person. But I'm beginning to think I'm crazy. High on sugar, in need of medication, whatever.

I've always know there's something that's wrong with me. I'm just trying to figure it out, because I can't fix something that I don't know what went wrong.

But I can't take back the way I've behaved, the things that I say, or how I've said things that came out the wrong way, and I do not assume to be able to redeem all these shortcomings even if I could eventually change myself or my behavior.

Even though this may not change anything or undo any damage I did, I'm still sorry for all of it, and its because I really feel that way.

I just wish there's a way for me to show it, that my actions can reflect that.

Train Wreck

I feel like putting my head in the oven right now

Someone please shoot me the next time I act like a idiot, because I would, but I don't know how.

This is all that year's 3rd sem all over again.

I'm so close to finally graduating... and yet its all so far

I can hear them all laughing now.

I'm failing
I'm scared

Crime and Punishment

I wished I knew what I did wrong.
I keep thinking and I can't never really figure out why.

Is it something that I do, or something that I didn't?
Or maybe its because it is me.

Regardless, the only thing that I could do was to try my best and be the best person I could, but I guess it doesn't work that way either. I wish I could make a difference, I really do...

I'm just so helpless

"I'm scared that I'm gonna end up alone. I'm scared that I'm always gonna be somebody's friend or brother or confidant, but not quite somebody's everything."
-Jack McPhee, Dawson's Creek S04E14

If I could see myself the way you did I'd change a thing or two.

I wonder why till these day, I still push people away from me. Regardless of how hard I tried to be a better person.

I do know that I'm a horrible person. Its just that I never meant to be that person that I am, and of course I do know that it doesn't really matters anyway. Who cares what my intentions were. The only thing that brings consequences .

Sometimes I just feel like I'm about to lose the people that meant the most to me. And I feel like I'm powerless to stop it.

Maybe that's why I acted the way I did. I got to the point of being pathetic. That's my weakness I guess.

And also how I feel for TLF, sometimes its like I'm ruining the friendship as much as I'm trying to be the best of a friend as I can. I guess I do know that I'm at fault, I don't know how to handle what I feel for LF from the beginning... I end up being an asshole

But I can't hide the fact that I'm horribly disappointed at myself

Apetite For Destruction

Never know what I've become
The king of all that's said and done
The forgotten one

This city's buried in defeat
I walk along these no name streets
Wave goodbye to all
As I fall...

On a mission nowhere bound
Inhibitions underground
A shallow grave I've dug all by myself

As far as I can tell
It's just voices in my head
Am I talking to myself?
'Cause I don't know what I just said

As far as where I fell
Maybe I'm better off dead
Am I at the end of nowhere