Untitled Rant

I'm such an idiot. Ultimately, I'm the one who invites all of this that I can't handle. I always forgets who I actually am, which is nobody, a useless nobody. If I'm going to be such an asshole to myself and everyone else, I wish I could just disappear and do everyone a favor...

And this training thing has been nothing but a disaster for me, and its only day 2. Truth is, I wish I didn't had to do this alone, I'm never good at that. Thought i could help it if I tried, but I'm a miserable failure.

The thought of having to go through this alone, is just such a lonely thought. Its not that I'll fail or anything by myself, its just a very lonely situation to be in, and I think that's the problem...

Uncharted Waters

Finally its time for my industrial training. Well, finally probably isn't the right word, somehow I felt everything came too soon, like I'm not prepared to handle everything that comes with it. Maybe I'm just weak, maybe I just wasn't meant to have it like everyone else do.

Well, yesteryear just feels like yesterday, and I really wish tomorrow was the beginning of it again. I'd give the world to live through it all again. Its funny how now I see them all differently, even with all the tough times, I'd still much rather be there than be at what's to come in the future.

I'm afraid, I'm insecure, terrified...