I use to wonder if I'm a bad person

These days, I wonder how bad of a person I actually am

I hate being bad and retarded myself, and I tried so hard to change it...

but I'm still a fucking stupid useless guy

I guess I should keep this short... like I always should had

I feel like crap

Dumb crap... if that's even possible

Bailing Hay

Keep wondering whats going on around me. It feels like I'm the only one who hasn't got a clue these days. I feel like I'm outdated, antique, the old, rusty and worn out sword that nobody needs or wants anymore sitting in the solitary corner of a museum.

And I'm powerless to stop it...

I feel like a plague that people avoids like a plague.

Wait, what?

Sigh...

I'm pathetic...

Happens

Lightning do strike twice on the same spot. Damage my DLS modem, and for the first time, I had no any line and it wasn't the ISP fault.

Lightning do strike twice.

Seems to be pretty much a recurring theme for me these days.

Everyday is a new mistake for me
Why would anyone listen anyway

Silly Little Pop Song

i really hate the way I understand things, because more often than never, I get em wrong. Take today for example, I thought I could get some good studying on Sunday, but hell I didn't manage anything at all. The entire day was screwed. For whatever reason or no reason, I couldn't get my head around it.

I'm sure that there are many things that I've misinterpreted all this while. Things are probably worse for me that I ever knew. Maybe all this "occasional rays of rainbow" is just what it is, an illusion.

Maybe what and how I feel and act springs from on thoughts that are merely an illusion, I'm just too stupid to see it. Maybe my own feelings created those illusions.

I'm such a fool... Some people may be a sentimental fool, but me I'm just a fool.

FEELING LIKE A BIG FAT NOBODY

This place is cold
It feels like a beat-up truck
I turn the engine but the engine doesn't turn

I'm so alone
I feel just like somebody else

Somewhere in between this lone city was a dying dream...

Arghhhhh >=(

I really, really hate it everytime I see my DSL modem with its DSL indicator light off. It was a very bad day actually. My favorite team once again finish this year's Formula 1 first race without any points, and as I got back to my computer after that horrifying race, another horror unfolds when I discover that the DSL light is off. Damn, not again.

This begs the question of why on this planet Earth does this shit always happens to me? I've lost count how many times the service was interrupted. Is there something wrong with the exchange point out there? Is it too old and cranky now to provide service for 3 months without any interruption that involves me calling their support center and listen to some elevator music for 30 minutes before spending another 15 minutes with their clueless operator guiding me to ping this and that when the problem is the lack of DSL connection.

Of course, it may not be just me, if what they said were true that some cable got damage, which would means all my college student neighbors would have been experiencing the same thing too. But still...

I really wish things like this would just stop for a moment or so, my this semester is almost ending already, this would be our last semester, there's just so much I wanted to do or.. anyway I just wish it will be a more smoother one, without all this stupid internet blackout. Oh well...

On a different note, I had to spend my sunday night and monday watching a whole lot of Stargate SG1 (rerun them) in a very dorky nerdy fashion I suppose. My favorite Sci Fi TV series, Richard Anderson certainly made the entire 8 season show amazing with his witty one liner (much better than he ever was back in the days of MacGyver)

I guess what I like the most is how humans are grounded to reality despite travelling to other world. They still use standard body armor, P90 and MP5 machine guns, no any fancy laser shooting stuff. And despite being primitve, they've been able to help out other advance civilization, so much that they named their battleship after the character Jack O'Neil



The O'Neil ship under construction in one of the Asgard colonies.

Speaking of wish, I certainly wish they'd made some models of this ship or something, I'd probably be the first to buy one and put it up on display. Heh.