Anyway

Days like this, all I could is put the music on and just listen to it. Had I been using a record player, it's head would have wear thin by now. Sometimes I just put one on that I could relate to, and every other time it'll be just some nice one with catchy beats, sentimental ones or whatever. I have to admit that I don't know what else I could have done for myself. I could only try so much, I wish I knew what I should or perhaps should not have done.

Anyway with this twisted ways of mine to cope, I'm always looking out for new songs, and it couldn't have came at a better time... perhaps. I was watching this American Idol show just to pass the time and there was this country singer performing a song that goes by the title of Anyway. She was Martina McBride.

This song brings a meaning of keep doing what we believe in no matter how the world is against us, how things doesn't go our way.

You can spend your whole life building
Something from nothing
One storm can come and blow it all away
Build it anyway

You can chase a dream
That seems so out of reach
And you know it might never come your way
Dream it anyway

God is great
But sometimes life ain't good
And when I pray
It doesn't always turn out like I think it should
But I do it anyway
I do it anyway

This world's gone crazy
It's hard to believe
That tomorrow will be better than today
Believe it anyway

You can love someone with all your heart
For all the right reasons
And in a moment they can choose to walk away
Love 'em anyway

God is great
But sometimes life ain't good
And when I pray
It doesn't always turn out like I think it should
But I do it anyway
I do it anyway

You can pour your soul out singing
A song you believe in
That tomorrow they'll forget you ever sang
Sing it anyway
Yea - sing it anyway

I sing
I dream
I love
Anyway

I don't know if this song should be an inspirational one to never give up or, it horrifyingly reminds me that nothing gold can be mine and yet I still have to keep on chasing dreams that can never be mine just because I'm alive here.

You know, sometimes I wonder how all these songwriters could write such wonderful songs. There may be lots of theoretical music knowledge required to compose a song, but I suppose that is not necessary to write some simple yet meaningful lyrics. I wish I have such talent, I think lyric writing could have been a very good hobby.

Ah well, enough for today. I'm so complicated right now. They say not everything in life is perfect, well I hope that I will someday find that not everything in my life is imperfect.

I never meant to do you wrong. If only I could made this known...

Multiple Assignment Assault

So much for all the planning, now comes the implementation. Well, or so I thought. This business of selling some stuff making profit for the sake of getting a good grade for a subject suppose to be implemented next week but well, these things happens. It got delayed, but there's a silver lining to it. We're totally not prepared so that's a lifeline for us.

Anyway its been and will be very busy week for me. I got some job mainly about designing stuff, forms and micro posters, in a way I think I'm glad actually though I couldn't make a single interesting design for nuts. I mean, at least it doesn't involve dealing with other members. Not that I find them bad or stubborn or whatever, its the coordinating that I don't like. I'd rather have a job of my own, do it and get over with it. And another good thing is that I'll be able to gain some experience messing around with Photoshop.

Lately, been a little out of focus. I mean, too much things my mind is focusing on, everything just like, went out of line. I feels like my brain is now in overdrive mode. But luckily so far everything went well, and I think for the first time, most of the assignment went on well, so unlike any previous assignment that I'm actively involve in.

Another reason to love this sem. Though, with a little reality check, its more like a history, and another statistic in my life. Obviously one that will be significant, one that will stand out among the rest.

I Hold My Breath

Wow, been so long since I came here to this little hideout of mine when words just don’t fit anywhere else. Since the last time I posted an entry here, so many things had came and gone. I’ve finish all my mid terms exam since then, and some were just about ok, other’s were disastrous. But that was not to say my entire day was ruin, ironically I must say. And then there was this assignment, for one, I thought I was so blessed to get some help from, well, I know who. I’d imagine had it been anyone else, they would not be too keen to share anything with an inept student like me. I felt really glad, really thankful. Then the second one wasn’t so much of a wonderland tale. My group decided that while others work better under pressure, we works only under pressure. It was a last minute job. But heck, it’s all done and dusted now.

But oh boy, I don’t know what to say. So many thoughts spawn in my head all the time like mushrooms growing after the rain. But you know, for the pass few weeks I felt like everything’s just the way I thought life should be. I mean, there are ups and downs, yes there are downs but there are ups too, which was something that I spend most of my life missing it rather then enjoying it.

I’ve always wanted to have this kind of life that often is reflected by others around me, the kind I thought to be, a normal life. And I actually thought I had this little sneak preview of it. Oh well I think I’m beginning to twist my thoughts around its getting entangled. I’ll just say this short and straight. This semester, has been a very great one for me thus far.

I could state out a hundred and one reasons why but I don’t think I needs to. And I think that in time to come, I’ll really miss those times. I really will, no matter what will happen after this, or what had just happened. Like I’ve mention, it was just a sneak preview of something that perhaps I don’t deserve. And what’s more, next semester onwards, I think it’ll again be awkward for me, feeling so detach from this “year” of student that I use to see for the pass few years already.

It’s just so strange how the tides swing on and on and it’s like my life will never settle down and I’m always left wanting more of something that will eventually be so far away from me. I don’t know how to handle it, I can’t cope with it maturely enough, and I guess that’s why I leads such a trash life.

I don’t want to think what the future holds for me, it scares me so much.