If I could see myself the way you did I'd change a thing or two.

I wonder why till these day, I still push people away from me. Regardless of how hard I tried to be a better person.

I do know that I'm a horrible person. Its just that I never meant to be that person that I am, and of course I do know that it doesn't really matters anyway. Who cares what my intentions were. The only thing that brings consequences .

Sometimes I just feel like I'm about to lose the people that meant the most to me. And I feel like I'm powerless to stop it.

Maybe that's why I acted the way I did. I got to the point of being pathetic. That's my weakness I guess.

And also how I feel for TLF, sometimes its like I'm ruining the friendship as much as I'm trying to be the best of a friend as I can. I guess I do know that I'm at fault, I don't know how to handle what I feel for LF from the beginning... I end up being an asshole

But I can't hide the fact that I'm horribly disappointed at myself