...

Mid term holiday has come to an end. Well, it was fun while it lasted.
But there ain't any fairy tale ending. Yellow brick road came to an abrupt halt.

Been out of luck these few days. This YM-WLM interoperability went down with whatever problem there is with it, and it's been like, 3 or 4 days now with no sign of an solution to it. Microsoft only allows feedback and so I turned to Yahoo help center and all I get as a reply was this interoperability feature is a beta feature and so there's no customer support provided for it. Great. Well, what can I do. I tried all I could on my side here, even uninstalling IE7 (which was ridiculous anyway) but all in vain.

I guess its like I'm the only one in the world who cared about it, and heck Microsoft nor Yahoo will ever care about a complain by a user from an unknown corner of the world. I'm not a premium user anyway, hah.

Oh well, I don't know why, if I over-reacted or just a bad feeling about this. I mean, I don't wanna relive those nightmare again, it might not survive a second hit . Damn, I'm confuse. Oh god...

Mid term's coming up and I think I'll be eating shit for that too.
It's a losing battle.

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away.
Now it looks as though they're here to stay.

Helpless

Feeling so helpless
That I can't do anything to help it
Helpless that is

and hopeless...

What can I do when circumstances involved is out of my control.
Well, I wish I knew...

Days Called Holidays

Whoa, it's been a tiring 3 or 4 days back to back. Well, guess this is what Chinese New Year's all about, heh.

This year reunion dinner ain't so much of a reunion. We did had lunch at my dad's side grandmother's place, but well, its just for the sake of eating there. I mean, there isn't any reunion literally. And my mom's side grandmother, she felt that she she can no longer take the strain of preparing meals for 6 families in one night so we all decided to just have our own dinner back home. In a way, it felt good too, I mean no need to wait for each other to have dinner. Like I said you know, there isn't much of a reunion literally when everyone wait for their turn to eat but of course we'll have to be practical, its just not possible anymore unless you're eating at a huge restaurant.

And the next 3 days is just the usual. Visiting blitz, collecting loads of angpau (loads as in weight, not value XD ) and it was super tiring. Well, it isn't so bad anyway, though I must admit I have more fun visiting people rather than being visited, heh.

There was me procrastinating. It started with me receiving a greeting card from my old time friend, and I wanted to just text him a thanks and happy holiday but no, I procrastinate to the next day and I completely forgot about it till the middle of the week. Then on the eve to first day, people were text-ing each other greetings. First one I got was on that eve night, and I replied kind of late, like 12 am. After I sent it I was holy cow, 12am, wont there be network congestion? Nice going, smart guy. Duh. Then later on somewhere between then an 1am, I received several more forwarded greetings and stuff like that but I was too tired and though to just them one the next morning. There I go again, procrastinated. Well, I did send them out, in a rush as we woke up late and had to go to grandma's place. And ah, now that I recall, I think I miss one or two person. Hah. Its nothing significant, I know this. Just felt that it'll be nicer if I did. It's just me and my entangled mind.

Anyway all in all this holiday has been ok so far. No much stress and its like I temporary flew out of this world into another world. I never really got bored for the pass few days, busy visiting then rush back in the evening to hit the bed for a short nap, then off again and find sometime to online at night no matter how tired I am. If only I'm as proactive in my studies as I did here. But yeah, soon reality will kick in again, more bumpy days ahead, starting with an all ridiculously tough mid term paper next week.

Oh boy, if only life could flow like this everyday huh.

Untitled

Wow, its been more than 2 weeks since I've posted here. What happened huh. I don't know why it just didn't cross my mind to post anything here. It's like I kept feeling that my thought's such a mess up that putting it here and then seeing this again the next day makes me think of what a disillusioned fool I am.

I don't really know what to say now. I think if I go into the details it's gonna get very long. But lets just say at the end of the day, it all goes down to the very basic fact that, I'm negatively different from other guys when it comes to socializing and everything that relates to it. I mean, its not just how I relate to others, but it's how I interpret all this things. I gets so confuse, so afraid at times too because due to that weakness of mine, I sometimes might not have reacted in the best of ways and I just screw everything up again and again. My confuse mind keeps hoping that good things will last for me just like how it seems to does for others. Changes is inevitable and my dream begs for better changes for us, not the opposite direction.

But wait, is my mind playing tricks on me? Do I see too much of a hope? I can't tell and that's the problem with me. Only thing I'm not confuse about is myself keep holding on to this slight hope that perhaps someday... erm well, let's just leave the sentence there... perhaps someday...

Anyway Chinese New Year is on the way (was it also known as the Lunar New Year?) and well, seems like it gets less and less jolly each year eh. I recall how I use to enjoy it when I was a kid. Now it's just like a routine. Is such celebration something that we will eventually outgrows? Well, what I can only think off right now is collection "ang pau" [value seems to be dropping by the year too =( ] and eat and more eating. How cynical I am huh. But look at how commercialize these festive season as became. Its amazing how consumerism and such celebration mix so harmoniously. Anyway looking forward to this coming holiday.

I'll end this with a quote...

This world's an ugly place
But you're so beautiful of a person to me.

...that I wish I could say.