When I make the decision to not further my studies and get a job, I thought it was time for me to grow up, that its time for me to take things in my life forward.

Unfortunately that didn't happened. What happened was I remain jobless, and everything went downhill from there. I never expected things to be like this, it was one of my biggest blunder

I think I fail at logical reasoning, I'm unable to predict consequences. I was afraid that furthering my studies will turn out to be a 20k regret. I guess I'll never know how things would have been had I took that path, instead of this.

I'm like a broken record
I've got a needle scratching me
It injects the poison of alcohol I.V.
I don't blame you for walking away
I'd do the same if I saw me
I shat the bed and laid there in it
Thinking of you wide awake for days