I wish I was a lot of things

But ultimately, it all comes down to the fact that I wish I'm a normal guy like other guys.

That I'm as interesting as others.

That I can socialize as well as others.

I wish I was a person who could make you happy.

And not be the one who's always pissing you off.

And I don't know what to do

I guess till this day, there's still resentment in her towards me.

As much as I wished I could magically make her forgive me, the worst part is I fear that she would never believed that I was truly sorry for all my actions or lack thereof, that I never intended to ruin our friendship this way.

If apologizing could change things, I would do it again. But we've been through this and another apology is only going to make her resent me more.

And if I don't, she would still forever resent me for all I did.

Sometimes I just feel like I'm the only friend in the world that people could never forgive. There's just something about me that made me this way. I don't know what it is, much less how to fix it.

I miss being a good friend...