Dear dairy, it's been awhile and...

Man I don't know how should I word this down.

Today, well actually after this morning, I realize that what I felt all along was much more than what I thought it was. Or maybe the feeling grew even more over time and I just didn't realize it. Or perhaps I haven't seen her (as in literally see, in real life) for some time already and when we met this morning (though just briefly), boom floodgates. I mean, it's not like a feeling that resurrected again, but rather something that never fade away and it was stronger that I thought it was.

Hmm...

Now what am I talking here, twisting my words around here and there... I just think this feeling that I feel is something that somehow grows stronger over time, at least that's how it felt like, yeah. Actually by now, its nothing new in me I guess, heh. It's something so wonderful I just let it grows and yet it scares me too sometimes.

Cause I'm my own biggest enemy, and I'm easily blinded by my own imagination. I'm also afraid that I still don't know how to handle it (I've been pretty much this way for so long, not knowing how to handle something that's so strong).

However, it's something I'll always have in me. And I'm glad I felt the way I feel, and no matter how wonderful or hurtful it can be, I'd never trade it for the world.

Anyway it's just a though. I don't want to be a freak making a big deal out of everything and push everyone away from me. After all I'm growing up and still learning everyday.

Just a thought I thought I should pen it down here tonight. What a Friday it has been eh.