Twisted Me

I've got a regular problem
I'm like a big fat tumor in me that
I can't leave this life of loneliness
Everyone's got their friends to flaunt
While I count my ceiling tiles on Saturday night
I guess that makes them more of a person that I am

I'm having trouble showing what I meant
I'm older but I don't feel any smarter
I don't know what I said or did to you
And now you despise me so
And I guess I deserve it
I wish I could be myself without wasting all your time

I tried to leave a good impression
But it's hard with me being who I am
And when you're only 25
I guess its not attractive to complain about loneliness
But all my friends are gone now
And I miss you the most

I could bitch about it until my eyes turn blue
Or moan about the things I should have done
But nothing I could do to turn back time
Or have you see me the way you used to
Before I dragged out friendship down the creek
I wish I could be myself without wasting all your time

I guess all your friends new and old
They deserve you
I just I wish that I did too
But I'd still say they're lucky to have you
And as you know, me with odds and lucks
If my life depended on it I'd be long dead

Well I guess my life is unfix-able
A classic case of flawed by design
I'd rather have a drink
And walk down to the lake
And beg the sky for lightning bolts
I just can't be myself without wasting all your time

Of all the people that I've know
I used to wish I could talk to you everyday
Now of all the people I've wronged
I wish you'll be able to forgive me someday