Untitle...

I miss my school life. I miss those years I spend in university. Its a time where I guess I felt like I could belong somewhere, it was the years I could actually make some real friends despite not being good at it. That says a lot.

Someone with some strange luck, we got to knew each other and despite me being who I am, you did not find me some creepy dude behind a screen name, you did not despise me despite my flaws. You became my friend... and I miss that very much.

It sucks to be in my place. I don't know how to change myself, although I knew I had to. I'm just another friend who's worse off than all the many people you knew or got to know. I don't have that luxury. Since we left uni, nothing's change for me. I don't really care either way. The only thing I really cared about was to not lose your friendship, yet my actions can't reflect that.

There's a lot that I am sorry for. I really wished I could have took our friendship to something better, instead I'm left missing all those times, the friendship we had, and I'm really sorry about it every single day, to you LF... for all my mistakes I kept doing.

But if this world have a funny law of saying that nothing goes unpunished, then it could be assured that I am. I am miserable every day, and I can't be happy, not even a brand new shiny PC I'm building could change that. The only thing that can I feel is loneliness, and miserably without any life.

I guess that's my punishment. An extremely lonely life and the misery of watching yourself losing the most important friend in your life.

It is a punishment. A sad one...