Long, boring, solitary days
Its sad how I finds my holidays yet another boring one, day after day. Its been like, more than a week now. Every day felt so long, I guess time passes slowly during calamity, just so I could suffer more. Sometimes I feel like I'm just waiting, waiting and waiting, and I don't know what I'm waiting for. I mean what the heck, am I waiting for the sky to fall onto me or something? Or am I crazy and senile to wait for a miracle? Gosh. I think I am crazy. I know I am crazy.
I hardly finds much interest in playing computer games lately. And I feels like I'm wasting my life this way not taking up any hobbies seriously. In fact, sometimes I felt regret not doing so during my teen life. Now, I felt like I'm a little too old to be doing so.
I never took guitar seriously until like 1 year ago. And its only recently that I took some interest in card tricks, learning some basic sleight such as fake shuffles, double lift, classical and invisible pass, Erdnase color change, snap change, and recently spin change. That's all, nothing fancy, nor am I anywhere near good.
I don't know, I just feel like if only I started taking up these hobbies few years earlier, it would have been much better. Its a shame I'm 22 going 23 this year, and all this basic card sleight was learn from online tutorial videos made by a 19 year old guy. Oh well.
But now I don't really spend my day on all those stuff, not the entire day anyway. I don't know what to feel about this, or about anything.
Depression really "put a spanner in the works".
I hardly finds much interest in playing computer games lately. And I feels like I'm wasting my life this way not taking up any hobbies seriously. In fact, sometimes I felt regret not doing so during my teen life. Now, I felt like I'm a little too old to be doing so.
I never took guitar seriously until like 1 year ago. And its only recently that I took some interest in card tricks, learning some basic sleight such as fake shuffles, double lift, classical and invisible pass, Erdnase color change, snap change, and recently spin change. That's all, nothing fancy, nor am I anywhere near good.
I don't know, I just feel like if only I started taking up these hobbies few years earlier, it would have been much better. Its a shame I'm 22 going 23 this year, and all this basic card sleight was learn from online tutorial videos made by a 19 year old guy. Oh well.
But now I don't really spend my day on all those stuff, not the entire day anyway. I don't know what to feel about this, or about anything.
Depression really "put a spanner in the works".
posted by Garry at 12:07 AM
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