Asthenia

Sometimes I lay awake at night and wonder

Just where did I go wrong?

Then a voice comes to me and says,

this is going to take more then one night

I feel alone and I'm tired. I'm tired of making the same recurring mistakes.

Maybe I'm just tired. I'm just too tired to lay awake trying to figure out why or how I kept burning the bridges I tried so hard to build.
I keep wishing I was a better person, maybe someone who scores higher on the scholastic and social richer scale. Then maybe I wouldn't be so screwed up. Maybe the gap to bridge wouldn't be this wide.

Instead, I'm just a useless nobody, trying to be somebody to someone.


I feel like I'm the only person in the world capable of driving away someone who's a very important friend to him, who perhaps meant the world to him but he's just too retarded to know how. Maybe its because of the feelings he had that fails to show how much a person meant to him through his actions, his actions just doesn't shows it.

I'm angry... at myself
I'm lonely... that's my fault
I'm tired... of this life