Breathing is Bleeding

Till this day I wonder why am I being so emotionally retarded. I hate the person I am to the point that I hate this very existence. I just don't know how to fix it, I can't stop myself from making all this mistake even though I really wanted to. I'm always confronted by fear, the fear of all the things that I don't know. I'm scared, I always am, and I just don't have a way of dealing with it, to contain it. I always let it screw me up, and when it does, I become this emotionally retarded kid.

It kills me. I just keep wishing I could be someone else, like all the normal guys out there. This incompetence of mine is what that'll always keep me here in this lonely place. I'm weak, I feel lonely, and I can't do anything about it. Its like I'm here just to live a pointless life. Everyone I know is out there living a life and I don't have any. At least not one that meant anything. I'm not good with people, I'm boring and the only thing I'm ever good at is to make others avoid me like a plague.

Its funny how I thought everyone's life will somehow turns out just like every other normal people out there living a normal life, while its up to each person to make their life extra special. Little did I know that some people are just meant to be left out...