Why

My mind and emotions have never been so preoccupied on two fronts at the same time as it is right now. Last weekend was tough enough, well, who am I kidding when I thought it could get any better.

I do realized that I am far from perfect, and everytime I show my immaturity, it makes me sick to my stomach because I realized that I have no right to behave that way. I guess the fact that I am bluntly wrong that makes me such a hate-able person. I mean, no shit Sherlock, who wouldn't hate an idiot like me.

*sigh*

I was glad and really appreciated it to be able to talk to someone about it, but I guess I didn't show that. As always, I still am me.

My biggest problem is dealing with myself. I just don't know how, I really don't know how to deal with this part of myself, it just kills me. I still lost, I don't know what to do with myself.

I've got something up my sleeve that I don't want to show
Cause everytime I bleed I make a fool of me

I keep crashing down every time I get this far again
I keep tumbling down every time I get this far again